Visiting a loved one in a care home for the first time can bring a mixture of emotions. You may feel relieved that they are receiving the support they need, but also nervous, uncertain, or even guilty. If your loved one is living with dementia, these feelings can be even stronger, particularly if you are unsure how they will respond to your visit.
While the first visit may feel daunting, there are many ways to make it a positive experience for both you and your loved one. Understanding what to expect when you visit a care home and taking a little time to prepare can help everyone feel more comfortable. Below, we share our top 10 tips for visiting someone in a care home for the first time, helping you feel more confident and making the most of your time together.
- Give Yourself Time to Adjust
It is important to recognise that visiting a care home for the first time can be emotionally challenging. Seeing a loved one in their new environment may take some getting used to, particularly if their move has happened recently.
Try not to put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. It is completely normal to experience a range of emotions during those first few visits. Allow yourself time to adjust and remember that building a new routine often takes time for both residents and families.
2. Get to Know the Home and the Team
Getting to know the care team is one of the most helpful things you can do when visiting someone in a care home for the first time.
Introduce yourself to team members, ask questions, and learn more about your loved one’s daily routine. Care home staff can provide valuable insights into how your friend or relative is settling in, what activities they enjoy, and any changes they have noticed.
Building a positive relationship with the care team can help you feel reassured and make future visits more relaxed.
3. Call Ahead Before Your First Care Home Visit
Although many care homes welcome visitors throughout the week, it can be helpful to call ahead before your visit, especially during the early days after admission.
Staff can let you know whether your loved one is attending an activity, enjoying a meal, having a rest, or taking part in an outing. This can help you choose the best time to visit and avoid unintentionally disrupting an important part of their day and ensuring they settle into a good routine.
4. Choose the Best Time to Visit
Everyone has times of day when they feel more alert and engaged. This is particularly important for people living with dementia, so choosing the right time can help make your first visit to a care home feel more relaxed and enjoyable.
Some residents may be at their best during the morning, while others are more sociable after lunch. Certain people living with dementia may experience increased confusion or distress later in the day, also known as sundowning.
Care home staff can help you identify the most suitable visiting times, helping to make each visit as enjoyable as possible.
5. Introduce Yourself and Follow Their Lead
If your loved one is living with dementia, they may not always recognise you immediately. While this can be upsetting, it is important not to take it personally.
Rather than testing their memory or asking, “Do you know who I am?”, gently introduce yourself and begin the conversation naturally.
Where possible, try to enter their reality rather than correcting them. If they refer to a different time in their life or become confused about certain details, responding with patience and understanding can help reduce anxiety and create a more positive interaction.
6. Bring Familiar Items
Familiar objects can provide comfort and create natural conversation opportunities.
Consider bringing photo albums, family photographs, favourite snacks, magazines, books, music, or small keepsakes that have special meaning. These items can prompt memories and help your loved one feel connected to family life and important moments from their past.
For people living with dementia, familiar items can often provide reassurance when words are difficult to find.
Taking the time to understand each person’s history and experiences is central to person-centred dementia care. This is reflected in our Rose Model of Dementia Care, which includes engagement as one of its six key principles.
7. Enjoy Activities Together
Visits do not always need to revolve around conversation. In fact, sharing an activity can sometimes feel much more natural.
Think about hobbies and interests your loved one has enjoyed throughout their life. This could include gardening, playing cards, completing puzzles, listening to music, knitting, reading together, or looking through old photographs.
Focusing on an activity often reduces pressure and creates opportunities for meaningful connection. At B&M Care we recognise the importance of fulfilling and engaging activites that reflect each resident’s interests and abilities. Activities can be adapted to support different needs, including those living with dementia, helping residents stay connected, engaged and involved in ways that feel right for them.
8. Keep the Environment Calm
Busy environments can sometimes feel overwhelming, particularly for people living with dementia.
If possible, choose a quieter area for your visit and minimise background noise from televisions or large groups. A calm environment can make conversations easier and help your loved one focus on spending time together.
Many care homes offer private lounges, garden spaces, or quieter areas where families can enjoy quality time without distractions.
9. Consider Bringing a Friendly Pet
For many people, animals provide comfort, companionship, and joy.
If the care home’s visiting policy allows it, bringing a well-behaved dog can be a wonderful way to encourage interaction and create positive moments. Animals often help spark memories and conversations, particularly for people who have owned pets throughout their lives.
Even residents who find communication difficult may respond warmly to spending time with a friendly and calming animal.
10. Focus on the Time You Have Together
Many people forget about smaller services and subscriptions during a move.
This can include TV licences, magazine subscriptions, streaming services, mobile phone contracts, newspaper deliveries, and membership organisations.
Reviewing these accounts can prevent unnecessary costs and ensure important services continue where needed.
Making the Most of Care Home Visits
Learning how to make the most of visiting someone in a care home for the first time often comes down to preparation, patience, and understanding. Whether your loved one has recently moved into residential care or has been living in a care home for some time, regular visits can play an important role in supporting their wellbeing.
At B&M Care, we understand how important these moments are for residents and their families. We encourage loved ones to remain actively involved in daily life and warmly welcome visitors into our homes. Throughout the year, we host a variety of events, including afternoon teas, garden parties, picnics, seasonal celebrations, and community gatherings where families can spend quality time together.
Many of our homes also feature beautiful gardens and dedicated cottages that provide a comfortable, homely setting for residents and their families to enjoy private visits together. These welcoming spaces can help visits feel less like an appointment and more like a special occasion.
Get in Touch With us
Our teams are always happy to support families before, during, and after visits, helping to create positive experiences for everyone involved. If you would like to learn more about life in a B&M Care home, or arrange a visit, contact our friendly team today.